Got it figured out...

at least with this one subject in our lives.

Last year I read a great parenting book. I really loved most of it- but there was one thing I really could not stand and I just could not wrap my arms around this mantra. I have mulled over this many hours and tossed and turned as to what it is that got under my skin. Don't Make me count to Three is really worth reading, but one thing the author said did not sit well with me. A genius recent post entitled I don't want my children to be happy made me realize what it was that bothered me so much.

In don't make me count to 3 the author has children learn and repeat back to parents that they should obey "first time, every time, with a happy heart". That last part was what I could not stand. It may just be semantics but I could not bring myself to have my children learn this. I did not want my children to grow up thinking they are to obey rotely, always happy about life. Life is hard, messy. We are often called to do things we are not happy about, or things happen to us that we are not happy about. Am I happy that I get REALLY sick with every pregnancy and thus we can not have any more children b/c with hyeremesis it gets worse with each one? Am I happy my father died, or that we were called back to America- giving up what we thought we were called to for life? No.

I think instead we are called to honor God in all that is given us- no matter what the situation, and we can have a joy in knowing that God is in control and he is still the same even if we do not like it. I have not come up with the word I want to use, but I know "happy" isn't it.

Another blog I recently came across put into words what I want my children to learn. How to respond when life is messy, hard, and we plain downright are not happy about our situation. Bring the rain author writes about the loss of a precious child. Her statement " I think that my Jesus is the same as he was before I walked into this room." is what I want my kids to have deep within them.

So it means preparing them for a life of hurt and pain and teaching them how to respond in a God honoring way to these. From the very early years- learning to lose at a board game and not always setting them up to win will help them when they lose something hard later in life- like a child, or a father, or a friend. It will prepare them that they are not always called to be happy- instead they are called to be holy and content in what God has given them. If they TRUST God and are content in knowing that He is good and does not change- then they will be joyful knowing that His plans are not for harm but to prosper them.

This trickles down to my job as a parent. I do not want my kids to be happy, or to always have life go their way. While they are young it is better that they learn how to trust us, their parents and God, their heavenly father- that we LOVE them and are always for them and no matter what happens in life that we desire to shape and mold them to give glory to our King.